Oh god no, not an author newsletter:

I know, I know. This is just a way for me to get your email address and unnecessarily spam you about whatever random crap fills my head when it's time to send out said newsletter.
But, look, I'm an introvert, and getting the word out about what I'm doing and when I've got something new to talk about is like bamboo shoots under my fingernails. I hate it way more than you do, so I guarantee you that I won't send these out any more than absolutely necessary.
If you enjoy this little world I'm writing about; this is the easiest way for me to keep you updated on what's new and shiny. Also, I don't expect something for nothing. Sign up for the newsletter, and I'll give you a prequel short story about how the eponymous gnome came into this world. Fill in the form below and I'll send you the short story About a Gnome for free, and I pinky promise not to send you emails unless I've actually got something to say.